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Sorry this is all out of order, but I started with a short story about an imaginary college course that really, REALLY taught human sexuality, and I liked it so much that I wanted to continue. Other people liked it too. So, by popular demand, here is the beginning of the continuing class notes of Professor Crumpet, BA, MA, PhD, MD, and licensed sex therapist.
Health 101 — Professor’s Preparations
Please allow me to introduce myself. I am Samantha Crumpet, BA, MA, PhD, MD (as well as a number of other letters I have stopped keeping track of.) I am a professor of Human Sexuality at a rather large and expensive American University. I absolutely LOVE my job.
As a tenured professor, it is unusual for me to be assigned a freshman health class. Yet I not only tolerate this assignment, I insist on it. It fits in with an agenda all my own that is not necessarily approved by the University. You see, I am also a Licensed Sex Therapist in one state (guess which one) and I am dedicated to promoting this semi-legal field of endeavor across our puritanical nation. I strongly believe that this is something that is desperately needed by a large number of repressed and suffering people who think they have nowhere to turn for help.
Obviously the work of a Sex Therapist is not for everyone. Few people in this horribly repressed society have a natural inclination for this work. But I think I can help by carefully grooming a select few that pass beneath my microscope. Even fewer of these may complete the program and become angels of mercy like myself. The rest will, at the very least, leave my care with a healthy, uninhibited libido and can look forward to a lifetime of exuberant sex.
My first task is to select a new class from the thousands of prospective college freshmen, all of whom are required to take a Basic Health course. I personally interview all my students at least twice, ensure that they are over 18 years old, and subject them to a battery of medical tests and examinations. I accept no more than six boys and six girls for my Health 101 class. The few, the healthy, and the sexually inquisitive are offered the opportunity to study with me for one semester. Those who perform satisfactorily are offered the option of continuing. The ultimate aim of my course of instruction is not revealed to them until I feel they are ready.
The first student I interviewed for the new school year was Amber. Amber is a rather sensational beauty; tall, perhaps 5′ 6″, large (deliciously large) firm bosom, slender waist, and long, long legs which she proudly displayed in very short shorts. Her hair is that burnished chestnut shade that is almost but not quite red in direct sunlight, and her upturned button nose is liberally decorated with freckles. I try not to base too much of my final decision on the student’s physical appearance, but in this case…I guess I have to admit that I really looked forward to seeing Amber naked and engaged in the various sexual exercises I would require her to practice if she chose to join my class. OK, I am a horny bitch, but that doesn’t stop me from being good at what I do. In fact, I’m pretty sure it helps.
As she walked into my cluttered office, I noted her swaying hips and saucy smile. “I’m Professor Crumpet,” I told her, rising to take her offered hand. “And you must be Amber.”
Amber giggled girlishly. That might have to be worked on. But possibly she was just nervous. “Please have a seat, Amber. Now, I’m interviewing students for a very select group who will be invited to join my Health 101 class. This will not be the typical college health class, by any means. We will proceed slowly, but before the end of the semester I can promise you that we will all be comfortable with our own and your classmate’s nude bodies, and that we will engage in certain preliminary sexual activities both privately and publicly. If this is güvenilir canlı bahis siteleri unacceptable to you, I can recommend you to a more conventional professor, and there will be no hard feelings. Do you understand?”
Amber’s enormous blue eyes widened. “You mean, like, we get to fuck in class?”
I smiled, noting her unabashed use of the word “fuck.” A good indication of potential, certainly. “There will be no fucking, at least not this semester, but we will thoroughly explore the preliminary activities,” I told her. “Incidentally, I accept only virgins into my introductory course, and all students accepted are required to promise to remain virgins until I decide they are ready to proceed. Of course anyone may choose to drop my course at any time. These students will be transferred to Professor Dullard’s standard Health 101 class, with no grade penalty. So, along that line, dear, ARE you a virgin?” I held my breath awaiting her answer. It’s not that I place any particular value on virginity, it’s just that I have found that it is best to start with students who have not developed any bad habits which I will have to break.
Amber giggled again, covering her mouth with freckled fingers. “I spent the last ten years in a Swiss boarding school,” she laughed. “They had some dikey old broad watching us 25 hours a day. Now I’m not saying I wouldn’t have jumped on the first man I ever got alone with, because I would have. But I never got the chance. So getting laid is pretty high on my “To Do” list. So, I guess, thanks, but no thanks?”
I felt deflated. Damn. Amber would be perfect for my class. “What if I promised you that, if you can wait six months, you will become an expert sexual artist? And what if I promised you that you will have plenty of handsome and horny classmates to play with while you wait? And that, if you continue on to my Health 102 course, you will be allowed to fuck every one of them, with no fear of disease, pregnancy, or abuse?”
Amber gnawed at a slender knuckle. “Honestly, Professor, I don’t think I can make it that long,” she sighed. “I need it bad. At least I think that’s what I need. I just ACHE, you know, down there?” she gestured vaguely at her crotch. “Sometimes I can hardly sleep, and when I do I dream about, uh, male organs and, and it’s just — oh my god I can’t believe I’m telling you all this…” She giggled again, nervously.
“Don’t you relieve yourself, dear?” I asked. “That is how most of us survive periods of…well, shall we say, “drought?”
“What do you mean? Like exercise or cold showers?”
“Not at all, dear. I mean masturbation. Giving yourself an orgasm. Don’t you know how to do that?”
“Don’t you have to have some kind of fake rubber dick to do that?” Amber giggled. “No, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything like that. Once, I had a really sexy dream, and when I woke up I had my legs wrapped around a pillow, you know, and it felt really strange, and I was all, kind of, slippery down there, but…does that count?”
I sighed. This level of ignorance signified criminal neglect on the part of her past educators, as far as I was concerned. “No, dear. That does not really count, but it’s a tiny step in the right direction.” I consulted my watch. “Possibly I have time to show you a basic exercise that will relieve some of your…er, discomfort. Normally we would not get to this in class until we had completed a few preliminary exercises, but I think you are ready. Unfortunately I don’t have my teaching aids with me, but I can show you using my own body as an example, if that won’t offend you. Do you have a problem with seeing others naked, dear?”
Amber laughed heartily for once, abandoning the little-girl giggle. “Are you kidding? I guess you never went to an all-girl school. I’ve seen more naked girls than Hugh Hefner ever dreamed of. We ran around naked in the SNOW, for God’s sake. They were supposed to be teaching güvenilir illegal bahis siteleri us to be “ladies,” but I think old Fraulein Helga kind of liked seeing us that way.”
I arose from my chair and circled around the desk to stand in front of her. “I’m going to take off my dress, dear. You may disrobe if you like, but it is not necessary.” I unbuttoned my floor-length wool sheath deliberately. Underneath I had only the flimsiest slips of lace masquerading as underwear.
Amber stared at me, open mouthed. “You have a really nice body for an old br…I mean, uh, an older person,” she said faintly.
“Thank you,” I said dryly. “Now I have another student waiting, so please watch me and do as I do.” I started by caressing my small firm breasts lightly. “An important and strangely neglected erogenous zone is the breast,” I began. “The skin itself is full of nerve endings, and these reach a nexus in the nipples.” I tweaked my pink nipples, clearly visible behind the lace, and they rose to attention obligingly. “Your breasts are gorgeous, Amber. Show them that you appreciate them.”
Amber slid her hands beneath her midriff blouse and fondled her full breasts experimentally. “That does feel good,” she admitted. “And I’ve done it a few times, but it really doesn’t help. It just makes me want, uh, something else, more than ever.”
“It’s only a warm-up,” I told her evenly. “From there I like to stroke my sides, my belly, my thighs, my behind, until I feel warm and loved all over. Sometimes I do it after a shower, with a little body lotion. You may try that now. It will be easier if you take your blouse off.”
Amber wiggled out of her blouse and snapped off her bra without further ado. Her proud cherry-tipped breasts sprang free, nipples already fully erect and glowing. She stroked herself gently, sighing with pleasure.
“When I begin to feel warm and moist between my legs, I move to that area,” I continued, slipping my fingers into my panties. “First I pet the curly hairs there, if I haven’t shaved them off, that is,” I smiled. “Shaving is bothersome, but I do it when needed for instructional purposes. Right now I have some hair, and it feels really silky and nice.”
Hurriedly, Amber bucked her hips up and shoved her shorts down to her ankles. Her boarding-school panties went next. Apparently she really did not have any inhibitions related to nudity. She combed her slender fingers through her verdant brunette bush experimentally. “This feel nice,” she smiled.
“Then I very gently part the lips of my vagina,” I told her as I did just that. “And, while I’m there, let me explain that I am not all that fond of Latin medical terms. I think of this as my “pussy,” which is ever so much more cuddly and fun sounding than “vagina,” don’t you agree, dear?”
Amber nodded vigorously as she copied my movements. “A warm and fuzzy little pussy,” she whispered. “She loves to be petted, doesn’t she?”
“She certainly does, Amber,” I said. “And she likes to be wet, unlike some kitties you may have known.” I dipped lightly into my cunt, which was beginning to drizzle sweet nectar. “Press your finger, gently, down closer to your bottom, Dear. Stop if it begins to be painful. You probably still have your cherry, and there’s no need to interfere with that just yet. It’s hot and sticky there, isn’t it?”
Amber nodded, absorbed in exploring this uncharted territory.
“Now when your finger is nice and wet, you can drag it up along your little slit. If it gets dry, go back for some more. Back and forth, very gently.”
An angelic smile brightened Amber’s face. “I don’t know why I never noticed this,” she murmured. “It really feels very nice.” She began moving her hand up and down her pussy rhythmically, and I noticed tiny beads of sweat beginning to glisten on her alabaster forehead.
“Now you must find your clit, Dear. No hurry, but I think you’re güvenilir bahis şirketleri ready. Look; this is mine. It is probably larger than yours, but you have one, I’m sure, and once you find it you will both be really happy.” I parted my pussy lips and flicked my greedy clit with one finger. “See, it’s a little nub partly hidden under a sort of hood.”
Amber copied my movements and craned her neck to try to see her reclusive clitty, but her pneumatic breasts were in the way. “I can’t find anything like that,” she began dubiously, “seems like I would have noticed if I had one…Whoa!” She shuddered all over. “I found something! Feels kind of like I stuck my finger in a light socket! Only in a nice way.”
“That would be your clitty, dear,” I smiled. “And she will be your very best friend for a very long time. Now play with her a little, and see what she likes best.”
We each twiddled our clitties for a few moments, and the tension was building, building…”I believe that I am about to come, Dear,” I told her faintly. “It may take you longer, due to your inexperience, but I have had a great deal of practice and not much time to play lately so I expect…” I realized that I was babbling.
Amber looked up at me inquisitively, her fingers still busily involved in making friends with Clitty. “What do you mean, “come”?”
I moaned, partly because of her ignorance and partly because I was about to explode. “I mean orgasm, the big “O”, climax, come, cum, spell it how you like, call it what you like, oh god oh GOD I’m doing it right now so look OOOOOH!” My cunt spasmed in a most gratifying manner, and my legs trembled so that I thought I might collapse. But I wasn’t finished…the second wave was more intense and I stumbled back against my desk as my hungry pussy grumbled and clenched repeatedly, complaining no doubt because she had not had any cock to suck on lately.
When I could see again, I noticed that Amber’s sapphire eyes were as big as saucers. “Are you OK, Professor?” she squeaked. “You look like you’re about to faint.”
“I’m fine, dear,” I told her blissfully. “I just had a very satisfying orgasm, and now we’re going to see if we can get one for you, too. So just continue to do what you’re doing…let me see –” I knelt to inspect Amber’s pussy, which was beginning to exude its own sweet fragrance. Gently I placed my hands on her quivering thighs and parted them more fully. “Keep playing with Clitty, dear,” I told her. “Just give her what she wants. She knows what she likes.”
I longed to take over for her inexpert fingers with my considerably more expert tongue, but restrained myself. I did not want to make her first experience dependent on anyone else’s efforts. “I want, I want…” Amber whimpered. “I want something inside me, I feel empty…”
I stroked her thighs tenderly. “You’re doing fine, Sweetie,” I whispered. “Don’t give up now. You don’t need anything other than what you already have — cute little Clitty and a finger.”
Amber squirmed in the office chair, and sweat began to trickle from her hairline. “What’s happening to me,” she wailed. “I never, I never…Oh fuck oh fuck OH FUUUUUCK!!!!!” Amber’s entire body convulsed, her eyes rolled up into her head, and the very air of my office crackled with relieved tension. She slumped back into the chair as if exhausted. “I think maybe I came too,” she whispered huskily. “And I want to do that again real soon, whatever it was. But I can’t hardly move and I have cramps in my toes.”
I moved to stand behind her chair and hugged her gently. I cupped her truly impressive breasts in my two hands and admired them. “You get an A+ on your first lesson, Amber,” I told her. “And, provided the medical exam turns out well, I’ll be pleased to offer you a place in my Health 101 class.”
Amber turned her head to look into my face. A tear of joy trickled down her perfect face. “Oh, thank you so much, Professor. I’ll do whatever you say, I really will. I’m so happy…” her tears became a torrent. “I never knew….Oh God I’m sooooo stupid….”
“That’s why I’m here, Amber,” I told her gently. “That’s exactly why I’m here. Now go back to your dorm room and tell Clitty how much you adore her.”
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