Hurt , Anger at the Hotel del Ardid

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Hello, before we begin I’d like to take a moment to provide a brief introduction to the story. There are some dark undercurrents to the story, nothing involving physical abuse or non consent, but dark nonetheless. This isn’t erotica without eroticism but there are some negative feelings that intrude on the sexuality at points.

I think stories can be a useful tool to process dark feelings, like we follow a character as their inner life impacts their outer world and then show how their experiences change their inner life. They can show how a character makes it through the turbulence of their own interior storm to get to clearer skies.

Hope this gives you some expectation on what to expect. It’s about 5k words to the first sex scene. Hope it also goes without saying that all characters are over the age of 18. Very special thanks to Bajero for providing invaluable editing.

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I never really did the summer vacation bender bash festivities before. I was born with a young face, if I had gone to one of those it would’ve been a farce I tell ya. It would’ve been an absurd mockery of everything that summertime holds near and dear to itself. I had to age into the part, even though the age gap between me and the people I’d be interacting with is now vast enough to be troubling. I can’t very well lie about my face though, but I can lie about my age. So lost time awaits, can’t very well keep this shindig waiting. That would be awfully rude.

I park a mile away from the Hotel del Ardid. Not giving those bloodsuckers a hint of a penny, even for parking. I’ll use the cardio it takes me to walk there instead. Yes, I’ll even bear the embarrassment of wandering through this dump in my vacation shirt and sandals. That’s the price I’m willing to pay to uphold my virtues. If I come back and have found my car’s been chopped shopped to smithereens well then I can rest easy knowing that whatever was taken from me has gone to good honest hardworking American youths.

A mile walk through an area can tell you a lot about it. In this case, it’s the monotony, the longing to escape that is squashed by the many blocks that surround one’s vision. The endless blocks of low rent suburbia that offer no escape and tells you that hope is just a delusion, not many people are making it out of this one. And the quality of the houses that surround me are all same type of slapdash but in many different ways. As if the idea of the worker putting care into their creation is just a dream that capitalism had long extinguished. The draw of the Horatio Alger myth had neglected any pride in one’s effort, just obsession over upward mobility to distract from the task at hand. And those who couldn’t pull themselves up were left in these houses. A blatant socioeconomic fuck off to those who were designated as undesirables.

Yet this is just the journey I’m on and in this case, the destination defines the journey, for hidden away in this poverty-stricken land lies a bastion where excess and decadence mix and match to their heart’s content. The Hotel del Ardid, a beachfront hotel where the spawn of the not-quite elite and the too rich for their own good are sent to experience the true meaning of summer, take back that knowledge with them and let it haunt them for the rest of their slow and dithering lives. A place to experience without growth.

In some way, I am dooming myself along with the rest of these fine young stooges through my own efforts to find the dream of summertime for myself. Oh, I have my ideas about what the meaning of summer really is but none of them are concrete. My idea of summertime is still malleable in its essence, waiting for experience and inquiry to shape it into the psychological epitaph it is destined to become.

I arrive at the hotel after a long and mentally vicious walk through the streets of the surrounding area. Don’t have a room booked here. Like I said I’m not giving any of these parasites an inch of me. My only hope is to become the parasite myself, feed off these other transients here who have their own hosts sponsoring their stay. If I can’t then the punishment will be worse than death, having to leave here earlier than planned.

Luckily I have my own goods and services to trade here. I waited long enough, I look like a CW fuck. If I keep my story straight and bear the burden of the fabrication of my age, then that will put me in rare breadth indeed. A novelty that few women will be able to resist, a face that shows knowledge and experience without an age that would be a complicating factor at best.

I will become the shiniest paragon of virtue that this rinky-dink place has seen, a prostitute, one that asks for room and board only. These fucks won’t know what to do with me, and that’s why I’ll slide by undetected. It’s hard work being a gigolo, especially one as surreptitious as I’ll have to be. I’ll need to sell myself mighty well if I dare stand a chance of getting the position I just invented for myself.

I walk through the gates to this repository of the possibility gangbang porno that will soon reveal itself to be just another enclosure. A person accosts me with a greeting. “No thanks, I’m just meeting a friend,” I say, passing the first test, at least with the staff. The staff have better things to do than to be on the lookout for a strange transient who wants to con the world and then blowout while the likes of them lay dumbfounded in the dust, like think about whatever’s going on in their own strange sad world.

The hotel lobby, the world between worlds. Someday somebody will write a book exposing the intrigue that is hidden among such monotony. What metaphors lie waiting to be uncovered in a place that nobody particularly wants to be in? A phrase that finds its way into the national conversation will surely come from this book. Some lucky son of a gun will most definitely write his way into a spectacular life through a subject as thick as this. Sadly though, that person will not be me as I am using this area simply as the passageway to the pool area.

Well here’s the heartbeat of a resort such as this, the pool. A very beautiful pool indeed, the kind that would look morally repugnant if contrasted against a picture of the slums of India. Thankfully the Christian sense of morality most of us have been indoctrinated with has a respite in a place like this. No, pure hedonistic relaxation is the name of the day and there’s no sense in judging a hedonist, it’s obvious where they’re coming from.

It’s almost a shame that my shirt’s going over well, people are looking at it at least. Nice big and garish is what it is. Not Hawaiian shirt type garish, something unclassifiable. Not going with blue for this bitch, no gold and red is what I’m after. Not even just plain yellow, gold, actual gold. Yes, a shirt like this requires a certain type of standard, and I think I’m going to more than live up to it.

It’s time to take off this shirt of mine though and reveal thyself before the world. I do my workouts and whatnot. I don’t and won’t have a world-class torso, I like the sweets far too much for that. But I can work with what I got, no ladies are going to reject me on bod cred alone. I might not measure up to some of the other hunks patrolling the area, but I’ll let my words and wiles fill the gap for me.

Six women find their way into my eyesight. Target here we come. Don’t get me wrong, no way am I aiming to bed all of them, don’t have the work ethic for that, but at least one of them must be easy pickings. Someone who with just the right finger on her pulse will be persuaded to put me up for the night with some sweet hot loving on the side.

One lass dips her toe in the pool, already I see my opening. She has not yet grasped the false promises of the pool. The emptiness in life and the lack of imagination one must have to believe that the pool holds salvation from boredom have domain over her. Yes, the lessons of narcissus go unlearned by her. At least it’s an opportunity to get away from her pitiful friends, good on her for taking it.

And for me it provides an opportunity to meet her before she returns to her friends defeated in her quest for something better. If I time this right I should intercept her while acting as if I’m merely on course toward the swim-up bar. Diagonally, of course, it’s the only way to approach a girl. It’s neither front or back, she won’t know what hit her. And in this confusion, many a feeling can subconsciously make their way through her.

Right on target. I get to the point where I have to maneuver around her. Poke my head up and say “Hey.”

“Hey,” she responds.

And that’s that. I point to the direction I’m going to swim around her and she swims the other way. Nothing more needed, anything else would be overkill. All I did was plant the seeds for my next encounter. Thankfully we’re on vacation time, these seeds sprout quickly.

I go to the swim-up bar and just ask for a water, the only thing that’s free in this resort. In a time when drought is a daily concern, I can have a free water while submerged in it. No, don’t judge it, objectivity isn’t good for me. Just think about how I successfully evaded another chance for the bloodsuckers to get my money. Learn to enjoy the bland taste of water, if I can do that then there’s nothing they can tempt me with.

Well, meet-cute the prelude is done, now time for the interlude. A time to be alone with my thoughts while I wait. We are in part our thoughts, so why not make them good ones? So let’s see, what do I have to think about? I always have Isabel to think about, though she doesn’t necessarily lead to good thoughts. It’s been over a year and yet her effect on me has not dwindled.

She’s still there. Though her physical presence has vanished she’s taken up residence in my head. The person she is or was is no longer the problem, it’s what she’s come to symbolize. Careful now, it’s always best to think of silver linings. Well, if it wasn’t for her, I would not be here now trying to find the czech harem porno meaning of summer. There’s that.

Out of the corner of my eye, I spy that the girl I briefly encountered is now withdrawing from the pool back to whatever cold comfort her friends have in store for her. Clearly, this is the girl to be watched. So I covertly eyeball her while acting like I’m just finishing my water. Is this stalking? Let’s just say the art of seduction is growing creepier and creepier by the day.

So I wait five seconds after they have vanished into the listless entrances of the hotel. Not a place you want to spend too much time in. Especially when the deceit of the outside world promises you pie and other goodies that secretly weigh you down as you try and make your way to whatever happiness you can get your hands on. After the waiting is done I make my way to my bag, towel myself off before putting my shirt back on. Slip into my flip flops and head into the hotel.

I briefly make out them boarding the up elevator to a room I will hopefully lay my head in later tonight. So back to the lobby again, where I can sit myself down and wait for my next step to begin. No book to comfort me anyhow, just the feel of this comfy chair. Once again a return to my thoughts is required but no more dwelling on the past for me, because now the future is where I set my gaze.

I have a plan in place already, one that you will undoubtedly learn through my exciting feats to come so no need to go over them. Why not surprise you instead? Instead, I will shift my energies to becoming the man I must be to fulfill them. My mindscape must change if I want to achieve my ambitions. What decrepit edifices lay upon there must be gentrified for a brand new me.

Let’s see, the shack of empathy must be torn asunder and in its stead must rise the tower of understanding. I can’t have too much empathy, can I? Yes, the emotional core that once moved our evolutionary chain so far forward has no place in today’s world. Individuality is the name of the game now and all the disassociation that entails. Our collective consciousness is withering and dying while the leaders of today’s world dance on its grave. Might as well join in on the fun. Solipsism for the win!

Curiosity is another vice of mine that I’ll have to tame. I must assume that these people have nothing to offer me, it’s is the only way forward. It’s time to conclude that the world has offered up all it has to my altar. I am all-knowing, all the answers are already in my brain. All I’m here to do is to be better than everyone. That’s the easiest way to confidence if I ever did see one.

Hopefully I can revert to my previous state once this ordeal is over, but for now, a hellion is what I’ll have to become. Let me just remind my brain that the ego is just a delusion and that death is not to be feared. Ok, all done and ready to go. And I’ve finished my becoming not a moment too soon as the girl and her gang have exited the elevator all decked out in their nightclothes.

Ah, nightclothes, the window into how a woman bounces off our fashion culture and what she comes back with. All of them looking good and yet completely forgettable, the ideal they were all reaching for in the first space. That in-between space amidst fitting in and standing out, hoping that a guy will look at them and think “why not?” Purposefully limiting the bounds that they can overstep.

Yet one of them is to come face to face with me, a man with a purpose, a man with a plan. With the next step of this plan being to engage. So off I go, wish me luck as I attempt to snag me a room for tonight. I step up out of my chair and make my legs as spry as they can be and play out my diagonal trajectory once again. I quell any outward hint of my interior life as thinking makes people nervous.

“Pardon me. Hey wait a sec, didn’t I bump into you in the pool earlier?” I ask, trying to remember my old pet dog to add some authenticity to my incoming smile, get it really into charming position.

“Oh yeah, what a coincidence,” follows she, sheepishly echoing my own smile.

Familiarity, breed me some goddamn fondness. “Hi, I’m Noah.” Note: fake name.

“I’m Kate,” she replies shaking my hand. My left goes to give her a slight pat on her right forearm as we shake hands. From what I can gather she doesn’t know what to make of this but I figure if I act calm enough then she’ll just accept it.

Now that pleasantries are over, time to find some common ground “So what you staying at this hotel for?”

“Just on summer break with my gal pals, you?”

“I’m a quarterback, got a big game tomorrow here. I play for the New York Yankees.” I say with a stone face. Mystify here we come.

I can tell from the look on her face she’s a little baffled. That’s not exactly the tone I want. It’s adjacent to what I really want but I’m looking for more intriguing than positioning myself as the other. Good enough jumping off point though. “Nah, just kidding, I’m just here for some R&R,” I say, giving the game czech mega swingers porno away just enough.

“Oh cool,” Kate says. “I guess we’re birds of a feather.”

“Doesn’t look like you’re going to be doing much relaxation though, seems like a fun time is what you’re after. Me, I guess it’s just trying to enjoy the sunset and whatever comes my way after that. The dark side of winging it I suppose, not having a full itinerary of activities to draw upon.” I say, paving a suggestion forward but not being needy about it.

“If you want, you could join us,” she says. Hook, line and sinker.

“Is there going to be any drama with the rest of your friends? Cause I don’t want to do that. I’m sure I can scrounge up something fun to do if that’s going to be the case.” Once again, leaving the neediness behind. Not making it seem like she’s doing me a favor either, just making her present me with the opportunity and expecting her to sell it.

“Oh yeah, my friends are cool. You got nothing to worry about.”

Just to make sure I shout out to the rest of them, “Hey y’all, your friend Kate invited me along, let me know now if you’re not cool with it or forever hold your peace. Don’t want to there to be any catty backtalk or we’re going to have problems.” There, just laid down the hammer. No way any one’s going to give me shit without it reflecting on their personhood. And just as I thought silence abounds. No objections in sight.

And so begins the seduction process for you onlookers. I’m sure other people came to it quite more naturally than I did, having had it born into their bones and awakened at just the right time. Me, I’m learned in the way, having had to rid myself of the wrongheaded idealism and the schmaltz that was drilled into me at a young age.

Nope, I have no romanticism left in me in regards to the relationship between a man and a woman. There’s no reason to get so idealistic in a relationship that’s built mostly on uncontrollable urges that usually take the form of insecurity. The emotional connection one often associates with romantic relationships can be found elsewhere, the sexual component can’t.

“So what do you do outside of work or school?” I’m guessing that work or school probably suck for her if she even does either one. Best avoid those two things either way.

“Oh you know, just going out and having fun. Maybe a bit of Netflix here and there.”

She’s a modern woman for our modern times. Fits the archetype to a tee, good for her. That’ll save her from the horrors of our modern times. Fitting in spares one from the despair of looking from the outside and realizing this is all just a freak show. “You got any favorite shows?” I ask, knowing full well that was the most important part of her answer.

“American Horror Story.”

“Never seen it. Is it any good?” I have and I lied. I don’t care for it but why not allow her the pride of being the tastemaker.

“It’s pretty good. I don’t know it’s fun. I like it. It’s mindless fun, it takes my mind off things.”

One thing I’ve learned is that a girl who is used to being seen as sexually attractive can say things with a straight face that I would be frightened for my life if they came out of me. Well at least if I hadn’t before I got her number now. “That’s the highest compliment one can pay to a piece of entertainment in my opinion. Too much stock goes into being interesting, do you really want to think when you’re watching something?” God that one actually hurts to say. Common ground, you better be worth it.

“Yeah exactly,” she says shining me a little smile that tells me she sees me. Well, let’s see what good that will do.

“You know that’s a great outfit you got on, you must be very creative,” I say knowing very well she put more thought into choosing this dress than would ever show up in the manifestation of her choice. I know she’s just wearing a one-piece but fuck if that’s not one hell of a compliment.

“Oh, thanks,” she says, eyes beaming. She liked it, she really did. Don’t think she’s gotten that type of compliment from the guys she’s been around, more like telling her she’s beautiful or something that made her already-dubious relationship with the male species even more fraught. However, she’s now found me to be the exception, which means this is going to hurt extra badly for her. “I like your shirt too, very cool,” she adds.

So finally we get to the nightclub, luckily it’s not the kind that’ll deny a guy in board shorts and sandals. Guess it’s in close enough proximity to the beach for the dress code to be lax. Anyways we enter it and there’s the requisite generic EDM that you can’t tell if you’ve heard or not. Careful now, don’t let them know you’re not hip to the music of today, otherwise, they’ll tear you apart like wild animals.

This is it for them, the last vestiges of childhood are about to be shirked off in places like these. And it won’t be long before they realize that adulthood sucks as the door closes behind them and they’re trapped here forever with only shitty EDM to keep them company. At least in a place like this there’s no more inner monologue for them. The freedoms that the English language does not abide by unlay before them. When they build up enough immunity to regain the ability to make coherent thoughts though it won’t be positive platitudes coursing through their heads.

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