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04/20/—CI dreamt I made out with EK. It felt so good. There wasn’t any action around where the legs split off; though my leg did start to wrap around his. I no [know] he isn’t thin. And he has turned into a real rebel now. If my friends knew I like him they would think I’m desperate like Vicky. I haven’t liked EK for that long. Physical touch… This was just a dream, but God… I don’t care who it fucking is. I want touch…05/06/—CYou know Mom’s starting to suspect I am not such a good little girl anymore. Took her long enough. It really kinda hurts me though as I connect what she’s talked about as the bad effects of a small town with how I act together. I’m that girl who’s willing şişli escort to throw myself at a boy I only partly like and be unhappy when I get him. I go a step further than mom with her theory, the reason why I do this is because I crave physical touch. I want sex. I want it so badly I can hardly stand it. I can’t do that though. I can’t. 05/20/—CI am so proud of myself, instead of craving sex in general I have it down to one person.* I dream I make out with him every night. *[first name was footnoted at the bottom of the page in tiny writing]Birth date/—C Happy birthday, Lamb. Sure whatever. My period started yesterday…I felt so lonely in school today. I didn’t tell everyone it was mecidiyeköy escort my birthday, but even when they did find out everyone except Big Bear and Annie A. just said happy birthday and that was it. Annie A. was really nice today. I don’t know why; she’s usually a bitch. Sometimes I have problems with Big Bear, however, he can realize every once in a while I need a kind word. Still at the ending of the first period I really wish I could have a hug from that one special person. *[full name was footnoted again]He got his hair cut, at first it was a shock, but it isn’t bad. It looks better at the back. I want him, I love him, I long to be near him. This is more dangerous then wanting sex in general because it is more likely to happen. Day after my Birthday —CI want him. I want him so bad. Why do I want him? I spent the evening socializing with other choir people. I thought of a new way to do what? I lost my train of thought. I was just thinking how I feel like that one Beatles song. [I Want You]. I want to kiss you. I want to make out with you. I want to lick your face. I want to smear my body against you. I want to sleep with you naked. I want to want to hang my breasts just in front of your face till you come up to suck them. I want to wrap myself around you like a stripper around a pole. I want to take your dick, kiss it all around and take it inside my mouth. I want to have sex with you. I want to wake up in the morning and see you in the bed with me, kiss you good morning, and get you up, make breakfast just for two.
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