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oOo Summoned by the call of my past, I marked the fateful day where I chose to undo my mistakes. In slow steps, I thread the evening that was filled with the sonorous hymn of cheerful men and women. The music of the occasion was blissfully sung with the joyful carols of children who busied the streets with the sound of their evening games. As the snow of winter fell, the radiant lights kept flickering together with the songs that kept the mood strong. The lights of the street shone with the brilliance of romance and hope for the year that would soon renew. Everything I came to see was filled with dazzle and awe and there was nothing more pleasing to see as I continued my trail. I soon came upon the place that holds the memory I now loath the most – the gazebo from which Myra confessed to me. The autumn roses that once decorated it are now gone into twisted black stems buried underneath the snow. In their place, colorful lanterns hung by the edges of its roof and its fences were graciously adorned by small Christmas lights that showcased how the place is being taken care off in spite of the rare visitors. Above the evening waters, its reflection shone bright and lonely like a stage after the curtains fell. As if defiling the joyful theme of the city, the place maintained its calm and serene isolation. All but the sound of the ruffled snow and the quiet flow of the river accompanied me on the way. Upon reaching the edge of the abode, I leaned over the fence and amassed myself at the otherworldly sight of the evening city scape that majestically glistens with the flow of the water. The winter wind blows and with it wafted the lovely scent of the distant sea – a scent that will soon be lost once the fire show was started. As I hum a Christmas song, I sat on the edge and pulled out my phone. “I have a present for you. Do you mind picking me up at the lakeside gazebo?”, I wrote and send. After the notification came out, I let the phone drop into the water without a care in the world. Now smiling even wider than before, I opened the little bottle of distilled beverage and slowly fell to the venom of the liquor. In slow gulps, I savored the sensation that left my throat and lungs burning in the effervescence. With a heart burning with the alcohol, I was taken possession by the spirit in the bottle and my ability to think slowly decayed into the artificial joy I most sought. By the time I let go, my entire body was already emblazoned in fumes. Intoxicated by the large amount of alcohol, I quickly succumbed to the intense heat that made my body grow sick, but I still managed to cough a small laugh as I cling on the pillar for support. “I wonder if she’s on the other side,” I said, while staring on the dazzling lights from the other side of the river. If she is there, and checked her phone, I wonder if she can get here in time. If she even get the message, at least. Stretching my ears a little allowed me to take note of the loud music that was being blared from the far side of the city. It was the songs of the local band and the cheers of the local people who are all eager to greet the upcoming dawn of the New Year with all the vigor that they can unleash. Though faint, I can feel their explosive cheers. After a few songs, I checked my clock and saw that it is almost time for it. From my bag, I pulled out the metallic object that would set this year at its finest beginning – a small pistol just the size for a small caliber. In its clip, I loaded a single bullet and cocked it ready. Escort Çukurambar Never in my life have I ever thought that I will ever get to use it, much less in this way. Standing straight to face the water’s edge, I readied my gun and listened to the distant crowds who began the countdown 5 “It must have hurt right?” My tears have long dried up and all I seek now is to be forgiven for this final act. Pointing the cold steel at the temple of my head, I joined the countdown. 4 “I never wanted to hurt you” Smiling softly, I held the gun close. Though the fear of death has been nullified by the alcohol, my ears caught the noise of the ruffling of branches and snow behind my back. 3 “Don’t worry…” Without letting go of my grip, I turned and saw the sight I least expect. She was there – worn down by the rough terrain, she stood by the entrance of the gazebo. Her image was bent and panting loudly from rushing in. 2 I greeted her with a welcoming smile. Whether the sight was real or just a delusion of mine mattered not, for I have nothing to give her but this final act of redemption for my soul long gone. From my lips, I whispered the words: 1 “It’s my turn now.” Then I pulled the trigger. At that moment, the hands of the clock stopped ticking. Set aflame by the surge of emergency, Myra took off in a dire rush. Arms stretched out and legs in a terrified sprint, she contested the words of the fates with her giant strides. The crescendo of her beating heart boomed in loud echoes as she defied her instinct to flee. Leaving the last vestiges of hesitation behind her back, she had nothing but a prayer to guide her way and she bartered it all into a single leap that carried her faith. The moment she felt Ismene’s clothes against the tips of her fingers was the point where the threads of fate fell to her grasp. With all the strength that she could muster, she pushed the girl all the way back. The impact sent Ismene falling out of balance and her hand missed its aim. By the time the hammer ignited the bullet, it was unable to land on anything but graze her skin through its heated trajectory. Then the fireworks flew across the sky. The pigment of colors soared through the black canvas of the evening, defiling it with the ethereal shade of the holy celebration. And as the artisans of fire made their trade known, the city bloomed bright and shaking with the undying blare of the people. And amongst the ones who cherished this scene are the maidens once lost. They fell unto their backs and became witness to the fiery skyscape. The sound of their tears broke through the wall of unceasing noise. Pined to the ground by Myra’s weight, Ismene can do nothing but watch as how the girl she loves cry out in wails. Though she cannot say a thing, the words need no voice to speak. It was in this moment where her mind felt most clear. No longer cowering behind the mask that she so foolishly wore, Ismene smiled for the first time in her life. Redeemed and re-liven, the tears of joy flowed in her eye. As they shared this moment under the veil of fire, she wrapped her arms around Myra’s neck and pulled the girl close. Then, with a smile, she whispered in her ear: “I guess I hurt you again.” But Myra paid those words no mind and returned the embrace. oOo After the fireworks ceased their fire show, the cheerful crowds exhausted, and the songs reverted into slow paced love songs, Myra and I sat in an awkward silence. With our backs behind the wall, demetevler escort we held each other tightly as we savor the comforting silence. It is humorous to think this is how our meeting shall go after months of being separated without any sort of contact. But we had no qualms about it. Finally finding the courage to make the first move, I asked her a simple favor: “Hey, can I stay over at your place tonight?” And she nodded in approval. Without speaking a single word, we took our leave and walked through the city crowd. Though we respectfully paid heed to the air of comfort and company, we both know that we can only play this game of pretend for so long. At the back of our minds was the gnawing fear for the conversation that we do not want to start. Whether this was a better result than my original plans, no one holds the answer. But, still, this is something I would like to see to the end. When we reached her place, we were greeted by the same tea house that I love. Though the windows are closed, and the lights are off, just being close to it fills me with warmth. Inside was just as welcoming as it has always been and she let me in without any questions. Under the dim light, she gave me the sign saying: “My parents won’t be home till the day after tomorrow” “I see…” “I don’t really have much leftover at the fridge but I have a lot of teas and cakes. Care for some? ” “Sure,” I answered. I made myself as thrifty in words as possible but right my chest, I could feel the warmth of my blood flowing once more. When Myra began to brew, the wafting scent of leaves and sugar assailed me. How long has it been to feel so alien with this familiar scent? As she busied herself in brewing the leaves, I nonchalantly instigated the inevitable. “Hey” I called out “Are you not gonna ask me yet about what I almost did?” The clanging of glass and teaspoons halted for a second but resumed just at once. She placed the cake and warm tea on the table before finally making the sign “I’m ready to listen if you wish to speak” I let loose a loud exhale as a way to loosen up the pressure that started building up. “Your parents were right when they said that you won’t be rejected,” I said, my head low, trying to hide my face. “But we live in different worlds, you see?” “My family has a long lineage of success and just the name alone signifies history and authority. I am well respected in my field and expectations of all kinds have to be met. I live my entire life under the dictation of others and disobedience can result into irreparable damages. If it is just me, it’s fine. But I have a family that relies on me and many other people whom I am responsible for.” “I…just…” I began struggling to find my voice as the tears began welling up once more. “I just can’t take it anymore.” “I know it inside me that I love you as much as you love me but it would benefit none.” Then I look up to her – my eyes burning with the desire for an answer. “Isn’t it just right to value what would benefit more in the long run?” “But…” I bit my lips a little “Why can’t I be happy about it?” She listened to my rambling while stirring her cup. When she looked back, I can’t help but recognize her mocking smile. Then she made the sign that says “That sounds like a bad story to tell” “I…” I paused for a minute to take in her words. Then I began giggling at the thought “I guess it is” From a simple giggle, my smile soon stretched out farther and I began guffawing hard. The sound dikmen escort bayan of my uncontrollable laughter can be heard far and wide in the middle of midnight. Myra on the end of the table was taken away by my outburst and began laughing with me. She cannot voice out any sound but her posture and muscle movements show that her stomach is shaking from the humor that we just found. Within the dead of the night, we made a mockery of the circumstances that led us to this mess. It took us a few good minutes before we could finally exhaust what little energy we have left. And when that happened, it was Myra who carried the conversation. Eyes still watery from the sheer intensity of our laughter, she made the sign. “For better or for worse, everyone’s life is their own to lead. If you wish to forsake your own joy to win the approval of your parents, then, I have no rights to speak against it. If you want to reject me for your own dreams, then I will accept it.” “But,” she made a firm sign “I have my rights to my own life as well. I believe that I have a duty to protect those that I cannot live without. Whether they like it or not” Clever words it was that left me smiling in response. Then I replied “You’re a selfish one, aren’t you?” “Probably,” she replied Then she leaned her head closer to me. Facing each other with eyes of full intent, she wrote the words that would start us all anew: “Ismene, would you be fine with being my lover?” There was no need for any answer. With a smile on my lips, I leaned closer and kissed her on the lips. Short and simple, it was a clumsily done kiss, but that little moment we shared confirmed the mutual affection that we hold dear. The taste of sugar and cream lingered on my lips as I slowly felt the heat rushing through my veins. After we parted, we exchanged silent glances – our eyes reflected the hunger that lies within. And we heeded that call with glee. Lured by the mood of the moment, Myra stood out of her chair and moved closer to me. Looming above me like predator, her eyes registered the lust that can no longer hide. Her cold hands fell on my cheeks and moved my head up before she leaned in closer and planted another kiss. This time, the kiss run deep and set the thrill of romance running amok. With our tongues waltzing with each other, we felt our animalistic instincts taking over in the sound of small growls and soft moans. Inexperienced yet eager, my body burned with her deep kisses. I closed my eyes and reach over to the strands of her hair then pulled her closer to me, letting her know of my demands for ravishment. And it was a demand that she so gladly obliged. Without letting go of the kiss, I felt her hands slowly slipping down to my waist and slither down to the area between my legs. There was not a single hint of resistance and I slowly parted my legs to her call. Slipping though the thin and flimsy cloth of my skirt, she wasted no time to claim her prize. When I felt her fingers run across to the garden that I hide, I immediately responded by clamping my thighs closed, as if regretting the actions I made. But Myra refused to be denied. She responded to me by pulling her kiss away from my lips and redirected it down to the nape of my neck. In languid circles, her tongue flicked around my skin as if savoring the taste of sweat that slowly forms with my frantic heartbeat. Every stroke of her warm tongue sent me moaning in deep breaths. All the while, her other hand found itself into my breast and cupped it in her hands before toying with it in a lustful manner. At first, she fondled it playfully as you would a small ball but as my arousal grew, so did her ministrations went fiercer. In rhythm with our frantic kisses, she slipped her hand underneath the fabric of my clothes and twiddled with my nipples until it began to harden.
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