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This is an honest telling of my first time, with all of the quirks and less-than-fantasy details. It is told from my memory of how I was thinking while it happened. I have tried to capture the awkwardness and the innocence as I remember it.
Janelle was an art major, and I was an electrical engineering major. We were a good contrasting pair. Both of us had never had a serious relationship before. She was from Canada, a child of Dutch immigrants. I was from Arizona, with no strong heritage except suburban American desert life. Janelle was an artist through and through. She wore round leather shoes, argyle socks, plaid pants, rugby shirts, and homemade scarves and hats.
She came from a family five sisters. All were platinum blonde, tall and very European looking, except for her. She was beautiful in a quiet, unassuming, organic way. Her hair was brown, her eyes were brown, she was medium height, with wide womanly hips and a slight pook in her belly. Her face was kind and sweet, with wrinkles of good humor creased into the corners of her eyes.
We were both extreme idealists who lived on a plane of impracticality that only college students can exist on. We got to know each other when a mutual friend invited us and a few other friends on a spring break trip to his uncle’s house in Regina, SK. We talked and flirted for a week. We chased geese at the park and tried to avoid falling poop. She put cornrows in my bushy blonde curly hair. We stayed up late playing cards at the uncle’s kitchen table, telling stories and getting to know each other.
Coming back to the university, we went on a walk along the river one night. We were enjoying our conversation so well that we walked to the end of the river trail and realized that it was very late and we had a long walk back. We didn’t care though, until it started to rain. We were freezing, and walking next to each other she leaned into me. I felt her slender shoulder bones against my chest, and her feminine form pressed into mine as she tried to steal some of my warmth. I put my arm over her shoulder, and she took my hand and placed it over her breast. I was giddy from the cold and the thrill of her body and the permission of her gesture. We drove back to the apartments on campus, and I felt like my heart would burst from joy as I dropped her off and said good night.
Since we had the same group of friends, we saw each other all the time. I wrote her long letters with love notes, philosophical ponderings, interesting things that had happened to me, anything. She would reply back with similar letters, and we relished the communication and the attention that we gave each other.
Janelle lived in an apartment with 3 other girls. The apartment had three bedrooms. The girls paired off between two of the bedrooms and filled the third bedroom with couches to use it as a movie theater with a projector.
We would watch documentaries together in that room but quickly get lost in kissing and forget about the show. After a few hours, we would be parched with thirst and bashfully exit the room into the living space where the other roommates would look at us with raised eyebrows and knowing smiles. I would be bashfully covering the giant wet spot on my pants where the precum had soaked through.
On a Friday evening, I picked up March of the Penguins and then came over to Janelle’s apartment. I asked her roommates who were seated around the table eating spaghetti if they wanted to watch it.
“No thanks,” was their response, and then Janelle came out of the bathroom wrapping her wet hair up in a towel.
“Want to hang out tonight?” I asked her, though we both knew it was what we always do.
“Of course!” and she walked into the theater room. She dropped poker oyna with a sigh of escaping stress onto the couch and pulled the pillow onto her lap, crossing her legs. I sat next to her, put my arm over her shoulder and pulled her against my chest.
The show started, and she leaned over, laying across my lap, tipping her chin back so that her face was under my face. I touched my nose to her freckled nose and gently rubbed them together, letting my lips occasionally brush lightly across hers. We continued this for many minutes, enjoying the slow arousal and gentleness of our touch.
I let my fingertips follow the underside of her jaw and then dragged them lightly up and down her neck. Her skin was pale and soft. I flattened to my hand and curled it behind her neck and felt how the hairs came out of the base of her neck. I gently massaged the two row of muscles on either side of her backbone. As I brushed my lips on hers, and she lifted her chin and pressed her mouth against the mine more firmly. She pushed her tongue into my mouth and gently felt my teeth. I softly probed my tongue with her tongue. We held our mouths together, gently breathing, sharing the same breath, whispering the word “oh” as our arousal built. I could feel my erection straining and about to burst as pre-cum was leaking into my boxers. Today was different than other days. Janelle was feeling more excited than before, we both had no pressing homework to work on, the whole evening was it open and ours. We had no company of friends, and the only thing that was not moving slowly was our hearts and the blood racing to our mid sections.
Janelle leaned back more so that she was lying across my lap, her head resting on my leg. “Do you want to see my breasts?” she asked in a quiet, shy voice with her eyes half shut and flames dancing behind her lids.
She lifted up her shirt to her neck, pulling her bra with it. I reached under her back and fumbled with her bra strap for a while until the tension released and the two cloth cups pulled up to the bundle of her shirt at her neck.
“Do you like them? I think they look the best when I am laying on my back like this.” I could see flash of insecurity in her eyes.
These were the first breasts that I could remember seeing with my own eyes. The skin was incredibly pale and soft looking. The brown skin around her nipples had little bumps like goosebumps, and the skin around that had a few random black hairs, and the rest of the hairs on her breasts were very fine blonde peach fuzz. Her nipples where wrinkly circles that came out like soft brown peas. I did not know what I was expecting, but I loved them because they were hers and I loved her, and they were so real. I thought to myself, “this is what a woman really looks like.” And I adored everything about her. The little black hairs were great. The bumpy skin was great. It was all like I was made to love it.
“Wow.” I am stunned. “You are stunning. I love you, you are beautiful.”
I gently kissed each of her nipples, and she smiled her private smile.
I kept my hand around one breast and just held it there while I kissed her mouth.
I lifted my head again. and I started to make circles around her nipples with my finger. I watched the small bump of her nipple grow taller and more firm. I moved to the other one and watched it grow. Janelle moaned softly, reached up to my neck and pulled my head down to her mouth again. We kissed again for many more minutes until Janelle said “I really need to pee!’
She sat up, set her bra over her breasts, pulled her shirt down and stood up. Her bra sat lumpy in the front of her shirt because it was not clipped in the back.
When she was gone, I reached into my pants felt the hot sticky canlı poker oyna mess from pre-cum and having her warm body on my lap. I tried to move my penis to the other leg to find a bit of dryness.
Janelle returned a few minutes later and said, “When I peed, my underwear was wet already and the lips of my vagina where all swollen.”
I looked at her with some confusion and she continued, “I think they are getting ready for your penis.”
I said, “Can I feel?”
She hesitated for a minute and then unhooked the button of her pants and pulled her zipper down.
She gently pushed my hand between her abdomen and her panties, and I felt her pubic hair. As my fingers rounded the corner of her pubic bone I could feel the hair get very slippery and wet. The skin was soft, and the hair was slightly prickly. I did not know what to do so I gently pulled my hand out of her pants.
“Can I see?”
Janelle glanced at the door. I caught her meaning and walked over and locked it.
The weight of a was happening hit me. Suddenly I was nervous and did not feel the romance and the lust that have been building all evening. I wondered if this was a mistake and if she would be angry that we had done this, or if she would look at my penis and be disgusted. I worried that I was leading everything and she was only following.
She sat down on the couch again, pulled off her pants, and took off her shirt and loose bra. Before me was the picture of elegance and feminine vulnerability.
Seeing her naked, I did not want her to feel alone or vulnerable so I came to her and wrapped her in a big hug.
With her sitting on the couch and me kneeling on the floor in front of her, I started to kiss her all over. She rubbed her hands on my back and whispered and moaned, especially as my mouth covered her nipples and when I pulled her panties to the side and kissed the crease between her thighs and her hip bones.
Her panties were soaking wet. I rubbed the wet spot and she responded by pushing her hips into my hand. I could feel a lot of soft flesh and one spot that felt like a more firm piece of cartilage. I thought that that must be her clitoris.
Janelle unsnapped the button on my pants and pulled them down to my ankles. She playfully rubbed the bulge of my penis under my boxers and said, “what do we have here?”
I pulled my boxers down, and felt so embarrassed. It was glistening with pre-cum, strings stretching from the head of my penis to my pubic hairs. Compared to her smoothness and beauty, I was wrinkly and gruff.
She ran her fingers up and down the length and said, “the skin is so soft and smooth.”
She leaned forward and kissed the tip. My embarrassment lessened as I considered she was enjoying the organic reality of my body in the same way that I had enjoyed hers.
“What do we do?” She wondered out loud, “we don’t have a condom.”
I said, “then let’s not do it. I’ll use my hands.”
She looked disappointed. “Let’s just try, and you can pull out.”
She pulled down her panties, slid down the couch then opened her legs so that her opening was just inches from my penis as I kneeled in front of her.
She absent-mindedly put her hand at the top of her vagina and begin rubbing in slow circles, occasionally dipping down to gather some lubrication and bring it up for more slow circles. I watched it with fascination.
“So this is what you do?”
She looked at me with dreamy eyes and said, “will you do it for me?”
I sat on the couch next to her and reached across her lap and slowly felt the silky skin, sliding up and down the two small canyons on either side of her clitoris. She leaned into me and rested her head on my shoulder and internet casino whispered her encouragement.
I pushed my middle finger gently into the opening of her vagina to get it more wet, slid it up to her clitoris and started to slide sideways back and forth over the top. I thought that it was like I was pushing a miniature nose back and forth. Janelle moaned deeply and then clamped her legs together on my hand, lifting her knees up and arching her head back.
The moan deepened as she turned her head to the side with her eyes closed tightly. Her body relaxed and she looked at me and said, “that was nice.”
She pulled my hand off of her clitoris, so I lazily trailed my fingers all over her stomach and her chest, upper neck and down her arms.
I made soft circles around her nipples to watch them grow again. A shiver of pleasure travelled up to her shoulders and then she said, “I am ready for you now.”
She pulled me on top of her and then pushed my shoulders back so that I was kneeling in front of her again. She opened her legs and presented herself to me, took hold of my penis and put the head of it at the entrance of her vagina. I leaned forward and put my mouth on hers, and then begin to rock forward and back with tiny trusts, barely entering her. I thought that I might hurt her if I pushed in, and at the same time, I was so excited sexually that one strong stroke would have pushed me over the edge.
Janelle begin to rub herself again while I leaned over her, my mouth lightly resting on hers. My tongue was gently feeling her lips and her teeth. Sometimes I closed my lips on her lips and kissed her and then pulled away to catch my breath. One of my hands was bracing myself against the back of the couch and the other hand was holding her breast, massaging it and squeezing her nipples. I was rubbing my hand down her ribcage, trailing my finger across her belly, up to hold her face, back to her breasts. She wrapped her legs around me and pulled me in deeper. My gentle shallow thrusts turned to slower deeper thrusts, each one pushing a little further than the last. Her breathing was heavy and her hand rubbing herself started to move frantically.
I looked down over her strained womanly body , the pleasure she was experiencing and the fact that I was giving it to her sent a surge of adrenaline and pleasure starting from my scalp down to my feet and then back to my penis. I felt my penis swell. Panicked I pulled away from her, grabbed my t-shirt, and held it over my crotch to catch the stream of semen that burst out of me. I could feel the skin around my balls tighten and pulse with each new stream. Despite the fact that I was orgasming into a t-shirt, I had never felt so manly and strong.
I half fell and half set myself onto her, my head resting between her breasts, panting. She ran her hand through my hair and laughed quietly.
“Thanks for not using my shirt.”
I lifted myself up to look at her and laugh. Glancing down at my penis, which was half erect now, I saw some streaks of blood at the base.
“You’re bleeding. Did it hurt? Are you okay?”
With a wry smile she said “you’re a little bigger than my fingers are… it was really nice.”
At that point we realized that it was almost 3 a.m., and we were both desperately thirsty and tired.
I helped her get dressed, and put my own boxers and pants on. We sat at the dining room table with cups of water and stared sleepily at each other with latent relaxed smiles, unwilling to let the night end but too tired to say anything. Looking at my wadded-up shirt with a mess of cum in it, I knew it would be a chilly walk back to my apartment.
Janelle and I dated for two semesters. I graduated and found a job locally, while she found a job teaching English in Japan. We ended the relationship when it was clear that our futures were diverging, and she ended up marrying another Canadian teacher she met in Japan. I wish her the best life ever.
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