my sissy life

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my sissy lifeI am a crossdresser who has been dressing since I was six years old. I tried on my mom’s bras and begged her to let me wear a dress. She eventually relented and allowed me to prance around in a dress for a few weeks until my brother started making fun of me. I then hid that side of me and dressed in my mom’s clothes and lingerie when I was home alone. I would walk around the apartment and pretend I was a girl.I eventually grew older but did not grow out of loving being a girl. I eventually learned what garters were for and what stockings were for. That added to my excitement and even to this day, I cannot feel dressed unless I have my garters and stockings. during my teenage years, I also found excitement in wearing sanitary pads with sanitary belts under my panties. I had to figure it all out on my own and this aspect of being female made me feel very feminineI mainly dressed alone at home only, but I needed more of a release when I was not home. I started to panties and pantyhose underneath my jeans to school. I also wore a camisole when I knew it would be too cold to take off my jacket. I only did this when I knew I did not have gym class where I would have to change in front of my classmates. I eventually graduated from plain old fashion lingerie to my younger sisters lacy panties. I wished my mom had taste for classy lingerie, but I it turned out that her lingerie was too plain for me.When I graduated from high school and began making my own money, I began shopping for lingerie for myself. I always told the sales lady at macy’s it was for my girlfriend. I insisted on full matching bra and panties and always matching garterbelts. Even though it was never the most expensive lingerie, It was my own. I did this for many halkalı escort years and accumulated a nice collection. but like all crossdressers, I eventually found myself purging every few years because of guilt.When I graduated from college and got a real job, I decided that this is a side of me that I enjoy. And since I really enjoy looking female, I should buy nice things for myself. From then on, all my lingerie must be designer (and sexy) and my clothes must be trendy, not slutty (like a real girl not a drag queen). I gave up of purging and now, I have a nice wardrobe for myself when I’m alone.I also collected a nice collection of toys along the way and a nice automatic machine. I use the toys when I’m watching x movies and pretend I’m the female actress as I reenact the scene.I had self medicated with with doses of only daily estrogen on and off at months at a time. Not much happened that I immediately noticed other than erect nipples. But after self med for a few years and compared my self to older pictures, I noticed I had loss muscle mass and my chest was a little jiggly. But I was still definitely a man. I stopped for a year and thought maybe buying overseas hormones was not a good idea. I then went to a gender clinic and signed an informed-consent agreement. I was then under a doctors care received some strong estrogen medicine. But it was still low dose. But even at low dose, after a month of daily use, my chest and nipples expanded quite rapidly. I never got that fast of a result from overseas estrogen. I took it for six months and my chess was really showing after six months. I got scare when I was not ejaculating anything other than taksim escort clear slippery fluids, so I stopped. I noticed my my testicles got really small and I was able to tuck very easily and comfortably.After another year of being off hormones, I found that my shape continued to change, like my waist and butt. I was still losing muscle mass on my upper back, making my bra size down from a tight 36 to a comfortable 35-36. I was so happy with my changes that I restarted low dose again on pills, but my doctor switched me to patches because of my age. The patches kept giving rashes, so she recommended something I never considered, injections. Boy, after I got my first injection, everything went full speed ahead. Breast grew faster that I was unable to hide it without some tight t-shirt help. My waist tapered and my butt grew. amazingly, my nipples grew really huge, and very suckable. i starting hanging nipple jewelry on my nipples.Alas I got scared and stopped again due to my relationship with whom I cannot do without. As the last three months of estrogen deprived body reverses many lovely changes, I found that my breast no longer deflated to a manly flat chest. I found that my breast may stay this time and nipples are still a womanly size. My body is continuing to lose muscle mass and my waist…omg, it’s still girly. My fat is still distributing to my lower regions. I am Again functional down there. This is such a roller coaster ride….the end result thus far is that my dresses fit so much better than ever, and I look so so much better in just lingerie.as of Nov 2017, I had restarted injections in September. I hoped to keep it low—very low dose, to keep any changes minimal. after one injection şişli escort every month, i changed to two injections for the last month before Nov 1. and Wow. my bust grew fast. faster than i even noticed, but co-workers did notice. I had to wear looser shirts now, and tighter t-shirts so that I don’t get anymore stares. I again stopped, but this time, no reversal of changes are noticed. it’s almost a month without estrogen and my breast had grown bigger without the aid of estrogen. it’s scary and exciting at the same time.You may think that I regret this, but after seeing the changes and the way I look in makeup, I can’t stop anymore. I feel the urge all the time now to dress up as a woman, because I feel so natural now with a feminine shape and boobs. I look now in the mirror and see my obvious boobs and I tell myself that I look so good and feel so right.When I go jogging, i feel the girls bouncing, making me feel i need to wear a sports bra to keep it from hurting. but the hurt reminds me of my changing girly body.another side affect is that my libido is so low, i don’t have the urge to excite myself anymore while dress. I just feel like lounging in my girly self in comfy bra and panties. I also shrank alot and cannot satisfy anyone with it. everything got smaller and easier to hide.in 2018, i only took two injections separated by 7 months. after each shot, its like getting a flood of euphoria for about 2 weeks. I felt a little naucious after a few days, but that subside. the feeling in my chest got tight and my waist felt tapered. everything was as they should. in between shots, I would occasionally take an estrogen pill boost a few days a month. hopefully it maintains my tether to feminine side.during the month of October, i started on the patch, just 3 months after my last injection. maybe i will return to injections later, but I think the patch will have a mellower effect.If u choose to buy and send me something from my Amazon wish list, please let me know, so I know who to model it for. If you buy me a toy, i will forward you a video of it in use. Thank you

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