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“We found love right where we are”
That Ed Sheeran song was on the radio the summer that I graduated from high school, turned 18, lost my virginity, and embarked on a six month hike of the Appalachian Trail.
A lot of life events happening in a short time, and yet during those few weeks I felt bored and restless, waiting for life to really begin. Only, when life did begin, I wasn’t ready for it.
The night of my eighteenth birthday, I was at home with my parents and my sister. It was a weeknight. My parents gave me some hiking and camping gear for the upcoming trip. My sister Amy delighted in scandalizing our parents. She gave me a box of condoms.
“Amy!” my mother crowed.
“What. He is legal now, you know. I just want to make sure he stays safe,” Amy said, laughing.
My father was too embarrassed to speak, and went to get the cake from the kitchen. For my part, it was a cruel reminder that I was turning 18 and had still never had sex or even come close with anyone. I didn’t want anyone to know though, so I tried to play it cool.
“Thanks, Amy,” I said.
Then dad brought in the cake, and started singing “Happy Birthday”.
The next afternoon, I got home from my part time job, and went up to my room. I was horny, as I very often was, and started jacking off. I wanted to feel something different, I wanted to imagine what sex would be like, and I thought putting on a condom would be good practice. So I took one out of the box and tore open the packet, and unrolled it on my erection.
It didn’t feel bad, but my mind just kept coming back to the cruelty of Amy’s gift. It was hard to stay in the mood, and I started to choke up a little, crying out of pity for myself.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Amy said from behind me. I hadn’t heard her come in, and I must have left my door ajar because I hadn’t heard it open.
Startled, I turned to the sound of her voice without thinking, and then realized what I’d be showing her. I scrambled to cover up.
“Sorry,” I stammered and sniffled pathetically.
“No big deal. That’s not the first erection I’ve seen,” she said. Amy was almost 4 older than me, so she was close to graduating from college already. I remembered her bringing guys around occasionally, and I suspected that some of them might have been boyfriends, but I’d never really known for sure.
“Now tell me what’s going on,” she said comfortingly. When I hesitated, she added, “I see you’re putting my gift to use already.”
“That’s the thing,” I whined. “I don’t have any to use them with. I’ve never even been with anyone, and I feel like your present was just to make fun of me. So yeah, rub it in, I was jacking off into a condom because that’s all I can use them for.”
“At least I guessed your size right,” she added.
“How did you know?” I asked. I hadn’t even thought to wonder about that until she mentid it.
“It just means you’re average size. That’s a good thing. Sorry, I didn’t mean for the gift to be a joke,” she said. “Okay, I did expect it to get some laughs, mainly from me I guess. But I wasn’t trying to make fun of you. I didn’t know! It’s not like you’ve got ‘virgin’ written on your forehead or anything.”
I knew she was right, but I still felt pathetic.
“Jeez, I’m really sorry. I didn’t realize what I was doing. There’s got to be some way I could make it up to you,” she said as she thought. “Okay, so how about this. Until you find someone else to use those condoms on, you can use them on me.”
I burst out laughing, thinking for sure she was making another joke. But she just stood there, turning bright red. It slowly dawned on me that maybe she’d been making a sincere proposition.
“What??” I asked. I struggled to comprehend the suggestion. I’d never thought of Amy that way, and I didn’t think she had ever looked at me that way either.
“It’s not a big deal. There will be latex between us the whole time,” she said.
“But still, we’re brother and sister,” I argued.
“So what. Sex doesn’t have to mean anything,” she said. “It’s just a bodily function, like peeing. Or a bodily function that takes two people, like getting a back massage. Anyway, it’s just an animal thing. All that matters is that we’re both consenting adults. So why not.”
Amy had never been the type of girl I’d been attracted to. Maybe it was that I typically saw her at home in her pajamas, with her hair frizzy and unbrushed, her acne and freckles uncovered. And she was heftier than any of the girls I’d had crushes on, her cheeks still round with baby fat. At that moment, she had just gotten home from lifeguard duty at the pool and still had her swimsuit on, her curves clearly outlined.
“The entire box?” I asked. It must have been obvious that I was coming around to the idea. Or maybe my hardening erection made that obvious.
She giggled and asked, “Yeah, sure. How often do you think you’ll want to do it after this? Like once a day?”
“Sure, I guess. But do you mean right now?” I asked.
“Why not. I’ve got a few minutes. The parents won’t be cebeci escort home for a while yet. You’re already suited up. Let’s go,” she said.
Without any sign of being ashamed, Amy pulled the shoulder straps of her swimsuit down, exposing her large round breasts, and peeled it off of her torso until I saw the bush between her legs.
She walked over to my bed and laid down on it, her legs slightly spread. From where I was sitting, I could see her pussy lips, pink and puffy, and shining wet.
I approached the bed and knelt awkwardly between her legs, still conflicted about touching her at all. I wasn’t altogether comfortable about what we were about to do either, but this was the first proposition I’d ever had, the first naked girl offering herself to me, and my erection was overriding my common sense. What defied explanation was why she was on my bed naked.
“So how do I…” I started to ask, aiming my erection at her hole.
“Just push it in, a little at a time,” she said.
I lined myself up and pressed into her hole. As the head slipped in, she gasped. Little by little I pushed it further in, and then withdrew and started over.
I couldn’t believe I was finally having sex, and I was even more in disbelief that it was my sister who was taking my virginity.
I leaned my upper body over hers to press further into her, bringing my flesh flush with hers. We settled into a rhythm with her pushing her hips up to meet me. My childhood bed creaked in time, under the combined weight of us.
What struck me, that first time, was how unflattering, inelegant, unsexy the act was. We really were like hairy, sweaty animals mashing our organs against each other just because we liked the sensation of it. Everything that made it erotic was in our heads, and the sensitive nerve endings where our bodies were conjoined.
I realized too late that I was close to cumming. Pulling out of her would have been too much stimulation, and just being inside her was too much stimulation. With an ungraceful grunt, I orgasmed. My whole body spasmed, pushing against her as I unloaded into the condom.
Awkwardly I pulled my penis out of my sister’s vagina, and sat on the bed, unsure how to confront what I’d done.
“Okay then!” she said with a deep breath, as if she were just stepping off the treadmill. She hopped right up and went to go shower, like she usually did when she came home from the pool.
She left my bed smelling like chlorine and sunscreen and sweat and lubricated latex and the scent of her sex. I pulled off the condom and threw it and the wrapper away, tucking them into a Cheetos bag where they wouldn’t be seen.
Then I sat on the bed, thinking about what just happened. I wasn’t a virgin anymore. But was I really any different? My body felt great in the afterglow, but I didn’t feel any more or less like a man.
One thing was different for sure: I had spent years trying to imagine what sex would feel like, but I hadn’t even known the first thing about how to imagine it. And now I knew from experience what it felt like.
I had lost my virginity. Pop culture convinced me that this was a big moment, and yet I couldn’t tell anyone about it. I knew I shouldn’t even hint to anyone that it had happened at all. For so long I had been a virgin pretending I wasn’t one, and now I wasn’t a virgin but I had to pretend I still was.
And I didn’t feel right about having sex with my sister. I worried it would come back to haunt me somehow.
Amy finished her shower and went into her room to get dressed, but didn’t bother shutting the door as she toweled her naked body dry. The naked body I had just fucked. I blinked, trying to make the vision of her beneath me go away.
I went to her doorway.
“Hey, I’m sorry,” I said.
“Sorry for what?” she asked, as she was getting dressed in the plaid PJ’s she typically wore around the house.
“About what just happened,” I said.
She turned to me, and gave me a look. “Do you really feel bad about what we did? Or do you just think you should feel bad?”
I didn’t know what to say, and she walked right past me and downstairs.
What was awkward about that night was how normal it all was. When my parents got home, we all had dinner together, and then mom and dad watched TV in the living room. I didn’t understand how Amy could act completely normal, even though we shared a serious secret now.
The next day, I got home from my job and I was in my room catching up on emails.
“Hey, are you ready?” Amy said, walking straight into my room, and pulling off her swimsuit.
“I didn’t think you’d…” I stammered.
“You seriously thought I wouldn’t keep my word?” she teased.
“But it’s…not right,” I said, struggling to convince myself.
“Are you saying you don’t want to, after all?” she said, and glanced at my crotch. “Because I don’t entirely believe you. But if you’d rather use those condoms to jack off, don’t let me stop you.”
I knew what we had done was wrong and messed up, and yet cebeci escort bayan now I felt bad about turning her down, and also I didn’t want to miss out on an opportunity to have sex again.
“But yesterday, I didn’t…make you cum,” I said.
She laughed. “Don’t be so hard on yourself. It was your first time! You will, trust me.”
I was already hard from talking about what we’d done the day before. I unwrapped a condom and rolled it on. This time I told her I wanted to try doggy style. She knelt in the bed, and I rested a hand on one of her round buttocks as I pressed into her from behind.
She rested her weight on her elbows and let her head dangle as I thrust in and out. She started to grunt softly in time and push her hips back at me. I lasted longer, but ultimately I was no match for the intensity of the sensations I was feeling. With a grunt, I held her hips tight to mine, as I emptied myself into the condom.
Just like before, she got right up and went on with her routine, like nothing had happened. I still didn’t feel like what we were doing was right, but I was starting to think I wasn’t going to have the willpower to stop myself from doing it again.
The next day, she had me lay on my back in bed and straddled me. She sank down onto my condom-encased pole and rode me, picking up speed until she was bucking like a race horse.
“I’m about to cum!” I cried out. A moment later I did, but she didn’t stop, she had a goal in sight.
“Amy, what if it slips off?” I asked, worried.
“It doesn’t matter. I’m on birth control,” she said. And then she screamed, putting a hand over her mouth to prevent it from being too loud. She slowed her motions and struggled to catch her breath.
When she dismounted from me, I saw that the condom had stayed on after all, my semen contained, not that it mattered.
The weeks after that I spent in a haze of having sex, of recalling the sex we’d just had, of fantasizing about the sex we could have, of worrying that we’d slip up and be found out somehow.
In some ways we got it down to a routine. Amy and I both rushed home every day and had sex as soon as we got there. It was typically a quick but intense fuck, rutting like rabbits. But we also kept it interesting, trying different positions, fucking in her bed, on the floor, on a desk, basically anywhere in either of our rooms. Once I knew what it took to get her off, I got better at holding out until she came with a scream, or reaching orgasm at the same time. We were lucky no one walking by the house ever heard us.
Even though she was on birth control, we always used condoms. I think psychologically, it helped us pretend that we weren’t committing incest, because our genitals weren’t in direct contact. And Amy had started the whole thing as a way to help me use up the condoms she had given me.
Before I knew it, the day came for me to embark on my hike. It was going to take six months, going from North to South as the months got colder. My parents didn’t like the idea of me going alone the entire way, so I was going to be accompanied at certain parts.
My sister had agreed to drive me to the trailhead, hike the first two weeks with me, and then take the bus back to pick up her car. Her 160 mile hike would only take 4 hours to undo.
I looked into her room, where she was stuffing things into her frame pack at the last minute.
“Are you sure you still want to do this?” I asked.
“Of course. This is going to be a lot of fun!” she said, as if we were still normal siblings.
Our parents saw us off as we drove away. The first day was a tough one, climbing all the way up Baxter Peak and down the other side. We registered at the campground at the base of the mountain, arriving pretty late, and found our camp site by dusk.
The latrine in the distance was lit, and there were people walking to and from their campsites with flashlights, and I could see other peoples’ fires flickering, but otherwise it was very dark.
“How about you make some food while I set up the tent,” Amy said. I noticed that she’d said THE tent. Amy had brought of her own, but she pulled my tent out of my pack. I quickly put together some sandwiches. We were in the tent within an hour.
I was laying down to sleep when Amy boldly ran a hand down my sleeping bag, fondling my cock.
“Are you sure we should do this here?” I asked.
“Yeah, why not,” she said, already slipping out of her underwear.
I could clearly hear crickets outside through the fabric of the tent, and voices somewhere in the distance.
“There are other people around,” I whispered. “They might hear us.”
“They’re not right outside the tent,” she said.
“How do you know?”
She laughed. “They’re not. And so what if someone hears us? Believe me, when they look at us, they don’t know that we’re brother and sister. They just assume we’re a young couple.”
“Okay,” I said, tearing open a condom wrapper as she straddled me. Though I didn’t entirely believe her. We did look escort cebeci a lot alike.
After the long day’s hike, it felt good to have her weight pressing down on the sore muscles of my legs, massaging my buttocks into the firm ground, her vagina massaging the length of me. She moved slowly, gently, making hardly any sound. I didn’t even realize she was on the verge of orgasm until her legs gave out under her, and her body quivered with the intensity of it, and for the first time I really noticed her vaginal contractions around me. I pushed myself up into her and clenched my teeth to keep quiet as I erupted into the rubber.
The next day as we were packing up, Amy swore, “Goddamn it!”
“What is it?” I asked.
“I forgot to pack my pills,” she said.
“Do you need to head back?”
“No, it’s no big deal. I mainly take them for other reasons anyway.”
We finished packing up and hiked on down the trail. Once we were further away from Baxter Peak and the popular campground, we hardly saw anyone.
The sun was setting, and we had to find somewhere to camp. I picked out a flat, clear spot a couple hundred feet from the trail. Again Amy set up the tent first thing.
“Hey, dinner can wait,” she called out, once she had it all set up. She climbed in and looked back out at me. I saw that she was already naked from the waist down as she peeked out the mesh door of the tent. “Well? Are you going to fuck me?”
I climbed in after her. For as silent as she’d been the night before, now she was unrestrained, even louder than she had ever been at home. It was a good thing no one was around, or they might have come running to her rescue.
We packed up, and set off the next morning. Several miles down the trail, I looked at the map ahead. “According to the itinerary, tonight there’s a shelter to sleep in. If you want to, anyway.”
“Why wouldn’t I want to?” she asked.
“Because if there’s anyone else staying there, we can’t…”
“Then let’s not wait until we get there. We can do that anywhere. How about behind those trees?” she pointed, and headed off the trail. We put our packs on the ground, and she laid on top of them, her khakis and underwear pulled down below her knees. I unbuttoned my hiking pants and slid a condom over my penis and pressed it into her. It was of the more awkward fucks we’d had, and it left me more satisfied than her.
We continued on our way to the shelter. Which was really just three walls and a roof. There was no one there, but in case some arrived late, we didn’t want to be caught in the act.
In the early morning, Amy went out in the woods to pee. When she came back, she said, “I think I got a tick on my butt from laying in the leaves yesterday.”
She pulled down her pants and knelt down on the floor so I could remove it. I got the tick off her and flung it off into the woods. And then, overcome by temptation, I reached a hand down under her bum and found her clit. She was eager, so I went to get a condom out of my pack. I scrambled, searching every compartment. The box was empty. All the packets were already used.
“I’m all out of condoms. You should have bought me a bigger box, I guess,” I said.
“Uh…you should have told me that before you got me wet,” she said, as she got up and put her pants back on.
“I don’t know, what do you want me to do?” I asked.
“We can’t. I left my birth control at home, remember? Well, little brother, I taught you what it feels like to have sex. I guess now it’s time for you to learn what it feels like to not have sex,” she said. I must have been visibly glum. “Hey, it’ll be just as hard for me as it is for you.”
We hiked 14 miles that day. Maybe it helped that we weren’t quite so eager to stop for the night.
“I’ll cook if you’ll set up the tent,” Amy said.
We settled in for the night, but she was squirming in her sleeping bag. It was a pretty warm summer night, even that far north.
“Ugh. Can you shift a little further away? I’m going to get worked up if you cuddle me,” she complained.
I tried to move my sleeping bag further away from her, but there really wasn’t anywhere to go. The tent was rated for two people, but in practice it was more like a one person tent.
I didn’t sleep well, and awoke right at dawn. I got up to relieve myself, and while I was at it, I stroked one out, my semen falling on pine needles. It paled in comparison.
Amy spent the entire next day kind of irritable, and my nerves were a bit frayed too. We were back to just being siblings again, but we were also back to being hormonally overwhelmed, bickering siblings. It reminded me of how we’d always fought when we were younger. We were only five days into our two week journey, and this tension was going to pull us apart.
When we made camp the next night, we hardly said a word to each other.
After we ate dinner, I said, “Amy, this isn’t working.”
“I’m sorry,” she said. “You’re right.”
She thought for a minute, and then said, “Okay, into the tent. But you have to pull out in time. You HAVE to. Understand?”
“Yeah, of course,” I said.
She lay on her back, and I mounted her just like that first time. Only now there was nothing between us as I pressed the head of my cock into her hole. For the first time, I felt exactly how wet she was, exactly how warm.
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